RENT...

[perididdle]

MAUREEN (in front of a microphone)
Last night I had a dream. I found myself in a desert called Cyberland.
It was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty.
Out of the abyss walked a cow -- Elsie.
I asked if she had anything to drink.
She said, "I'm forbidden to produce milk.
In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke."
She said, "Only thing to do is jump over the moon"
"They've closed everything real down ... like barns, troughs, performance spaces ...
And replaced it all with lies and rules and virtual life.
But there is a way out ...

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith

MAUREEN
"Only thing to do is jump over the moon"
I gotta get out of here! It's like I'm being tied
to the hood of a yellow rental truck, being packed
in with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a cliff
by a suicidal Mickey Mouse! -- I've gotta find a way

MAUREEN
"To jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over the moon"

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, etc.


MAUREEN
Then a little bulldog entered. His name (we have learned) was Benny.
And although he once had principles,
He abandoned them to live as a lap dog to a wealthy daughter of the revolution.
"That's bull," he said.
"Ever since the cat took up the fiddle, that cow's been jumpy.
And the dish and the spoon were evicted from the table -- and eloped ...
She's had trouble with that milk and the moon ever since.
Maybe it's a female thing.
'Cause who'd want to leave Cyberland anyway?...
Walls ain't so bad.
The dish and the spoon for instance.
They were down on their luck - knocked on my doghouse door.
I said, "Not in my backyard, utensils! Go back to China!"
"The only way out is up," Elsie whispered to me.
"A leap of faith. Still thirsty?" she asked.
Parched. "Have some milk."
I lowered myself beneath her and held my mouth to her swollen udder
And sucked the sweetest milk I'd ever tasted."
(MAUREEN makes a slurping, sucking sound.)
"Climb on board," she said.
And as a harvest moon rose over Cyberland,
We reared back and sprang into a gallop.
Leaping out of orbit!!!
I awoke singing

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, etc.

MAUREEN
Only thing to do
Only thing to do is jump
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
Over the moon -- over the
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moo with me.
(MAUREEN encourages the audience to moo with her. She says, "C'mon, sir, moo with me," etc. The audience responds. When the "moos" reach a crescendo, she cuts them off with a big sweep of her arms.)
Thank you.

BWAHA. And that's the person I gave Fi to be. She's GRAND. And on the original Broadway Recording, her actress has this overpowering voice in the following song


BENNY
Mimi -- I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
(Who don't adhere to deals)
They make fun -- yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

(The BOHEMIANS immediately begin to enact a mock funeral, with MARK delivering the "eulogy.")

MARK
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes

COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae -- dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v' yitkadash, etc.

MARK
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass -- you bet your ass to --
(MAUREEN flashes hers.)
La vie Boheme

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

MARK
To days of inspiration
Playing hookie, making something out of nothing
The need to express --
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad

To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike,
Midday past the three piece suits
To fruits -- to no absolutes --
To Absolut -- to choice --
To the Village Voice --
To any passing fad

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

(JOANNE enters.)

MAUREEN
Is the equipment in a pyramid?

JOANNE
It is, Maureen

MAUREEN
The mixer doesn't have a case
Don't give me that face

(MAUREEN smacks JOANNE's ass as she exits. MR. GREY reacts.)

MR. GREY
Ahhemm

MAUREEN
Hey Mister -- she's my sister

RESTAURANT MAN
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls

A BOY
Ugh

COLLINS
It tastes the same

MIMI
If you close your eyes

RESTAURANT MAN
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?

ALL
Wine and beer!

MIMI & ANGEL
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation

MARK
Mucho masturbation

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new

COLLINS
To Sontag

ANGEL
To Sondheim

FOUR PEOPLE
To anything taboo

COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

COLLINS
Lenny Bruce

ROGER
Langston Hughes

MAUREEN
To the stage

PERSON #1
To Uta

PERSON #2
To Buddha

PERSON #3
Pablo Neruda, too

MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

ALL
La vie Boheme

(JOANNE returns.)

MAUREEN
And wipe the speakers off before you pack

JOANNE
Yes, Maureen

MAUREEN
Well -- hurry back

(MAUREEN and JOANNE kiss.)

MR. GREY
Sisters?

MAUREEN
We're close

(ANGEL jumps on top of COLLINS, who's on the table. They kiss.)

ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK, MR. GREY
Brothers!

MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERS
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana

ALL
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel -- The Sex Pistols, 8BC,
To no shame -- never playing the Fame Game

COLLINS
To marijuana

ALL
To sodomy,
It's between God and me
To S & M

(MR. GREY walks out.)

BENNY
Waiter...Waiter...Waiter

ALL
La vie Boheme

COLLINS
In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner...
Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.

ROGER
Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days.

(ROGER picks up an electric guitar and starts to tune it.)

MARK
Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot,
Will sing native american tribal chants backwards through her vocoder,
While accompanying herself on the electric cello --
Which she has never studied.

(At this point, JOANNE has entered and seen MAUREEN playfully kiss MARK. JOANNE exits. BENNY pulls MIMI aside.)

BENNY
Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us?

MIMI
There's nothing to know

BENNY
Don't you think that we should discuss --

MIMI
It was three months ago

BENNY
He doesn't act like he's with you

MIMI
We're taking it slow

BENNY
Where is he now?

MIMI
He's right -- hmm

BENNY
Uh huh

MIMI
Where'd he go?

MARK
Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song.
(ROGER picks up a guitar and plays Musetta's Theme.)
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"

COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from Paris
While accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.

ANGEL
And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist --
Including the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment
To self-destruct, as it broadcast the words:

ALL
"Actual reality -- Act Up -- Fight AIDS"

BENNY
Check!!

(BENNY exits. Lights on MIMI and ROGER.)

MIMI
Excuse me -- did I do something wrong?
I get invited -- then ignored -- all night long

ROGER
I've been trying -- I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage

MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

ROGER
I should tell, you --

MIMI
I've got baggage too

ROGER
I should tell you --

MIMI
I got baggage, too

ROGER
I should tell you --

BOTH
Baggage - wine --

OTHERS
And beer!

Yeah. Okay. Quite huge. BUT SO MUCH FUN! I like Mimi and Angel's part the most.

Then there's I Should Tell You...then...


MAUREEN
Are we packed?

JOANNE
Yes and by next week
I want you to be

MAUREEN
Pookie?

JOANNE
And you should see
They've padlocked your building
And they're rioting on Avenue B
Benny called the cops

MAUREEN
That fuck!

JOANNE
They don't know what they're doing
The cops are sweeping the lot
But no one's leaving
They're just sitting there, mooing!

ALL
Yeah!!!
(Pandemonium erupts in the restaurant.)
To dance!

A GIRL
No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection
Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders!

ALL
Film!

MARK
Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations,
Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze!

ALL
Music!

ANGEL
Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation,
Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition!

ALL
Anarchy!

COLLINS & MAUREEN
Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions,
Forcing changes, risk, and danger
Making noise and making pleas!

ALL
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too

MAUREEN
To me

MARK
To me

COLLINS & ANGEL
To me

ALL
To you, and you and you, you and you
To people living with, living with, living with
Not dying from disease
Let he among us without sin
Be the first to condemn
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

MARK
Anyone out of the mainstream
Is anyone in the mainstream?
Anyone alive--with a sex drive

OTHERS
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme

MARK
Tear down the wall
Aren't we all?
The opposite of war isn't peace...
It's creation!

ALL
La vie Boheme!

YA! That's the best. Angel's solo is the best, too. And I'm quickly running out of my uber favorite songs, so I'm almost done with these huge, cut posts. This musical is bringing out the OCD in me, dangit.

Maureen has an eating disorder, I think. I just realize this...wow, I'm slow. There's this whole little part during the actual song 'Rent'...

"JOANNE
(On phone)
Don't screen, Maureen
It's me -- Joanne
Your substitute production manager
Hey hey hey! (Did you eat?)
Don't change the subject Maureen
But darling -- you haven't eaten all day
You won't throw up
You won't throw up!"

Maureen doesn't seem to have that big of a problem...they don't talk about it much throughout the rest of the show. But I wanna write a fanfic so I can play with Maureen and Joanne's relationship, and I just realized I can work that in there. I'm not quite excited about that, though. Yeeeaaah...but Joanne, as much as she's a bitch during parts, she cares very muchly about Maureen, so maybe I'm happy about getting to write worried Joanne. Wow. I'm kinda mean, aren't I?

-Maddy

Comments

[bucklind.livejournal.com]

I think Maureen's just a little nervous. :-)

[perididdle.livejournal.com]

*Shrugs* I dunno, Maureen doesn't strike me as someone who would be overly nervous cause of the lovely performance. But meeeeeby that's just me. lol.