perididdle: (Default)
Anyone have any spare hugs? Can I please have them? I have many many hugs from Jen and Jessi on the phone but does anyone else have hugs?

My mom is getting really frustrated and she yelled at me, and then my dad. Then they started fighting, and I ran outside with my floppy disk and sat in the car for a while. My dad came out and got me, and then we talked a little, and I started crying AGAIN, and then I went out and sat outside because, lo and behold, more yelling. Yeah, I paced around the deck doing the Drusilla hands-in-hair thing and saying, "I don't like the yelling, stop the yelling, someone, please," over and over and over until I sat in a chair and quite frankly just swayed back and forth until my dogs came, and they didn't stop the yelling either but I could still ask em. But then my dad came up and he hugged me and then my mom talked. I was mad at her, so I kinda just looked at the ground, but I gave her a hug because I know she's having a hard time with her job and everything, so I can't blame her.

Then I hunted down the phone and called up Jessi...she didn't answer so I left a message, a very pathetic one, where I said...

"Hey, it's me....*Pause while I try to keep composure* I called because I need someone to talk to...*Voice has gone squeaky* So, ummm, call me, anytime, please, I'll pick up...bye.*Hangs up*"

Yeah. Then my mom found me and talked some more and I actually said words this time, but still kinda silent because she said that she and my dad were having problems. Then I went and closed the bathroom doors and sat on the sink and called Jessi again.

"Hi, it's Maddy, again I'm sure you couldn't tell that it was me in the last message, but yeah. I still need to talk, *Insert voice going bad somewhere around here* and you're not on, but I guess I feel okay knowing you'll get this...but I gotta go. Bye."

There were beeps...Jessi called me halfway through the message. She hadn't listened to the first one so when I said hi she kinda said "Maddy?" and well I think she was really kinda freaked when I couldn't talk cause I was crying. But she calmed me down, told me t'was gonna be fine, and she sacrificed making her hair pretty for me. I feel very loved, cause Jessi only does that for me. She cheered me up, and I got on the computer to talk to Jen. *Hugs Jen* she helped very muchly, too. I love my friends.

I've been having a bad night...I'll probably collapse on the couch with a little bit of food and watch Firefly or Buffy. I might skip out on horseback depends on if a) I wanna eat a birthday meal with my sister and mom, b) when that would be and c)if I feel any better. Yeah. I do feel a lot better now, but I don't know if I'll want to do. If I do maybe I'll ask Mona if I could just ride, no jumping. *Shrugs*


*Points to mood* And scared/worried, but I could only have one.


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April 2015

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