perididdle: (Lol)
[personal profile] perididdle
I somehow stumbled upon an old chapter of the story that essentially planted most of what makes up me - somehow my weird little adventure into some characters I'd created on a whim brought me to a lifelong friend and also ten million annoyances who still talk actively to this day. After a really intense night, I ended up getting a bit wrapped up in what is literally the first spark of a personal history where I can start to see things fall into place.

Unfortunately, said spark is wrapped up around a prose story that I took very, very seriously.

I had fun snarking at myself and my characters for a little bit.

Chapter 14
Hawk had turned away about fifteen minuets ago, and Trisha hadn’t been able to stop him.
Minuets? Those things last a while. Trish probably should have at least sat down for a while.

Drake's first goal upon Morca, Amit, Hawk, etc. leaving is to basically sex Trish up. I mean that's what he does in Morca/Drake AUs when just Amit leaves, but come on man, self control.

Trish goes super hypocritical over the whole "Hawk is the father of my child and I can't blahblahblahblah" to Drake. To be fair I had not planned any of that really yet. But seriously in light of it all this is funny. Though "I can't do this all over again" works amazingly well:
“No. I’m sorry Drake. I really am…but I can’t do this all over again. Hawk is the father of my child, and I can’t just make him think I don’t love him, because I do.” Trisha whispered. She heard Drake sigh slightly.
“But he left you. He didn’t give you any time to explain, then he walked away.” He answered. Trisha closed her eyes and shook her head again.
“He was hurt and confused. He didn’t know what to think anymore…that can have a big impact on people.” She said, pulling away from Drake slightly. He pulled her back.

“How’d you get back home? All the horses are gone.” He said calmly. Trisha shook her head.
ALL THE HORSES. That's right. BAM.

“If I leave, I’ll be happy again. If I leave, I can find Hawk. If I leave…I can get away from you.” She hissed. And with that, she turned on her heel, and rushed out the door.

“Shh…it’s okay, Diablo.” She said, calling the stallion “devil”, a name she had randomly decided on.
It was very important to know her thought process behind this decision.

The stallion soared over small jumps, making Trisha incredibly uncomfortable and slightly worried she was going to fall off and injure herself in someway that put her child in danger.
Which is funny because she really doesn't worry about that at all ever later on.

A ringing filled her ears. A strange ringing. Trisha looked back over her shoulder and nearly fell off from what she saw. A band of Native Americans was following her, their Appaloosa and Paint mounts decorated with rope halters, tiny bells handing off them.
Like...what? Everything about this is so bizarre and surreal. I mean seriously...what? Also, kudos to me for the bells. Because there wasn't enough weird specificity to begin with.

“Oh shoot...oh shoot, shoot, shoot.” Trisha mumbled


Chapter 15

"I know your awake, my love." He said softly. Trisha buried her head in the blankets, tears stinging her eyes.
WHAT A FUCKING CREEPER. Serious “RUN AWAY” bells are going off. Tiny, tiny bells.

Drake kisses her on the neck like, every page. I’m pretty sure he was supposed to be a vampire.

I don’t even want to copy-paste most of the stuff that creeps me out over Drake because it is SO WEIRD AND CREEPY that it makes me uncomfortable. It’s serious Flame-level grossness.

She remembered his eyes the day he bought her. Cold. Evilly cold. But she had seen a glimmer of something else that she later realized was caring. But the last time she HAD looked at Drake was back the day before he ran from her. His eyes had still been cold, but the caring was glowing brighter. Now his eyes sparkled with caring. With a little worry. And with love. Love, caring and worry. For Trisha.
I can’t decide what my favorite part of this is: the qualifier on exactly what sort of cold his eyes were, or whether she seems to refer to herself in the third person by the end of this whole thing.

She put herself here…and she had to get herself out.
Actually, uhm…I’m like…pretty sure he kidnapped you and then scared off your baby daddy and you just tried to get away. That you were impeded by a magical disappearing band of jingly Native Americans seems hardly your fault.

Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through her. She cried out softly, clenching her eyes shut. Drake moved his hand to Trisha’s upper arm.
“What’s wrong, love?” He asked. Trisha was breathing a little hard. She swallowed.
“N-Nothing.” She said softly. All of a sudden, Trisha felt incredibly cold. She shivered. Drake sat up slightly.
“Something is wrong, Trish.” He said, worry in his tone. Trisha shifted slightly.
“Well…first, I felt this really bad pain go through me. Then, it was like someone opened a window in winter. I got chills.” She said through a shiver. Drake got up.
God, I really hope you readers are able to stay abreast of this whole situation. Just to clarify: PAINS. COLD. Okay, we’re good.

This is always what happened when Hawk’s name escaped her lips. Drake was still jealous of Hawk…and it seemed to be even more then jealousy.
I…what…is it? 83% sure it’s raging uncontrolled attraction to Hawk’s beautiful figure.


Chapter 16

“So hot…so hot it hurts…”She mumbled. Drake sighed and felt her skin. It was clammy and not hot at all. He felt her forehead. It was hot. Too hot. He felt her cheeks lightly. They were hot, too.
I hope you guys understand what temperature-related things are going on right now.

“Yes. Much better.” She said. It was true. Her pains were gone, and she didn’t feel hot anymore.
Thank GOD. I was on the edge of my seat.

Trisha sighed and walked towards a doorway she never used anymore. There wasn’t a door…only jewels hanging by silver chains.
Goddamn hippies.

I am vaguely disappointed in this chapter for its low hilarity level. Trish is in love with Drake now BLAHBLAHBLAH.


Chapter 17

A smile played on his lips while he watched her. He truly loved her, and cared about her. His feeling from three years ago rushed over him, but this time stronger.
But it’s just one feeling, so it’s okay, nbd.

Finally, Trisha gave up and smiled, somewhat seductively, up at him.
She’s not really committed to the seduction just yet, apparently.

Actually, the introduction of Dria worked out pretty well all things considered. The actual sequence where Trish passes out is sort of stupid with her ponderings of Drake still loving her, but she collapses and wakes up to the perfectly reasonable situation of Dria being there. It also sets up her long-term pregnancy woes decently.

“I’m going to go find Hawk.” He said quietly. Trisha heard a short gasp from Adriana, but mostly ignored it.

“Hawk? But…” She bit her lip. She still loved Hawk…she was carrying his child, and trusted him dearly. But she had finally started feeling comfortable with Drake. Hawk felt…wrong.
There’s a reason we call Trish a whore, okay? Seriously, lady, you’re terrible at this whole dealing with love thing.

“I have to. Your getting sick…and it IS his child…”Trisha could tell it was taking a lot of effort for Drake to say this. He was afraid. Afraid that, if he let Hawk back in, he would take Trisha back. Or Trisha would want to go back to him. But he had to do the right thing.
Or maybe Drake was just afraid of the sentence fragments? Also, sorry Drake, but no matter how hard it is for you to admit it, Hawk being the baby daddy is fact. Please. You are not cool enough to be Will’s daddy, anyhow.

“It depends…Hawk could be reluctant. I also have a few other things to tend to…” He glanced back at Adriana, who looked away, her eyes closed.
This NEVER comes up in the story, but is code for, “I’m going to go beat the shit out of the sheriff for hurting my big sister.” This is clearly unimportant to the storyline except right this very moment.


Chapter 18

“You are staying in this room until either the child is born or Drake gets back.” She said. Trisha glared. Adriana was being completely unfair. Trisha had been walking to the door, just to simply walk outside and get some fresh air. But Adriana had stubbornly stepped in her path and told her that she wasn’t aloud anywhere except her room and the balcony.
Again, I really hope you guys are up to speed on all of this.

“Okay…you can have 15 minuets riding time each day.” She compromised. Trisha looked up at Adriana and raised an eyebrow.
“15 minuets? That’s hardly enough time considering I have to put the saddle and the bridle on.” She said.
I mean, if you reason that a minuet could last 3 minutes or more…

“But Diablo is mine!” She said. Technically, he was. Drake had said Trisha could have him. Adriana glared.
Just, you know, BTW guys.

“Well, with the way your acting, I would think you were a child. Oh, you want me to go get your mommy for you?” She said sarcastically.
WOW, DRIA, WOW. Too real.

Taking a slow breath, Trisha bent down close to the floor and made a run for the open door. Adriana looked up from her notebook for a moment, but then went back to it a second later.
Dria apparently has the awareness of Zelda’s castle guards.

As she walked into the barn, she realized she hadn’t gotten her boots. She shrugged and walked to the tack room. She had ridden bareback before.
I have a really vague understanding of anatomy, apparently.

“Do you know what could have happened? You could have fallen off and hurt yourself horribly, blacked out and slid to the side and gotten caught under Diablo’s hooves…any number of things.” She lectured Trisha as Trish slipped to reins off Diablo and got him to drop the bit.
“What ever.” Trisha mumbled.
WHATEVER? Seriously. This is not some willy nilly kid we’re talking about, okay, this is WILLSES. Shape up, missy.


Chapter 19

“Draken Casmanien.” He said. The man smirked. Everyone knew him as a slave master, and he tended to capture bandits.
That’s just…all false. Unless “capture bandits” means “sleep with the two best ones of their own free will all the time” then yes, sure, that’s fine.

“Yo, Drake!” Someone called out. Turning around, Drake saw it was one of his old friends, Darren. The 23 year old jogged up, his dark hair spiked up.
“Hey Darren.” Drake said. Darren raised an eyebrow, glancing his old buddy up and down.

So many things wrong with this. So many things. But Darren saying “Yo!” and checking Drake out are my new favorite canon gifs.
N2D: Schedule time to investigate personal feelings on attractiveness of estranged sister’s boyfriend.

So I just realized this is so not the real Chapter 19. Which is a shame because Amit is there being “good” and then this happens:

“Good man! You caught this rodent.” The sheriff said. Drake unknowingly tightened his grip. The bandit growled.
“Get away, Drake.” She hissed, only enough for him to hear.
“Morca just shut up for now.” He whispered. She glared as him as he looked over at Sheriff Garner. Drake narrowed his eyes. Loosening his grip and letting go of Morca’s shoulders, he moved away from her.
“Go Morca.” He said, still glaring at the sheriff. Morca stared in disbelief as she backed away. The sheriff watched her go.
“What the hell did you do that for?!” He yelled, catching the attention of the villagers.
“So I could get a chance to do this.” Drake pulled back his fist, hitting Sheriff Garner in the jaw. Garner stumbled backwards.
So much Morca/Drake in my head.

I wish I could say I knew where the real Chapter 19 was, but it is seriously MIA. So, I guess 20 will do.

Chapter 20
“Medicine. You’re weak.” Dria said, walking over and handing the mug to Trisha. The 18 year old looked at the dark liquid in the mug, then back at Adriana.
“I’m not going to poison you, Trisha. Drake wouldn’t like that.” Dria said simply, walking across the room.
Maniacal laughter, Dria? Now you just sound like a crazy person.

“It was Hawk.” Dria said, barely loud enough for the sound to carry across the room. Trisha’s first order of business upon hearing this new information was to spray out the drink that remained in her mouth.
“What?!” She sputtered. Dria looked slightly amused for a moment, before her face fell.
“I answered your question.” She said, crossing her arms and leaning back in chair.
“You were with HAWK?!” Trisha said slowly. Dria shrugged.
“I wouldn’t say I was WITH him…”
I told you that you would regret ignoring shit, Trisha, but do you ever listen to me?

“And how do I know that Hawk won’t fall for you when…if…Drake comes back with him?” Trisha said, putting down to mug. Dria stared at her for a moment.
“Hawk would never leave you, not for anyone. Don’t think of him like someone that would do that.” She said after a few seconds of silence. Trisha groaned and ran a hand through her hair.
Spoiler alert: Dria and Hawk have 2 babies together and are happily married. So many LIES.

“I’m sick and tired of hearing Drake linked to every bad side of a problem.” She hissed to herself. Trisha didn’t comment on that, but after thinking for a few moments, she realized how much it was true, that Drake tended to be linked to problems when there was no one else to blame…
Chill Trish. Dria was just saying what everyone was thinking.

And now, at about nine A.M., Dria glanced over at Trish every once and a while, wondering what was keeping her brother. They’d been over three weeks, and Trisha was nearing the middle of her seventh month. With
…the town is 20 minutes away. There are some very serious logistical issues I have to raise at this point…

“I’ll be here, unless…well, just call if you need me.” With that, she disappeared behind her curtain and left Trisha and Hawk alone.
Hawk, meanwhile, glanced questioningly at Dria while she left. She seemed too familiar.
So while their affair left Dria pretty much rocked up until this point, Hawk doesn’t even remember who she is. Maybe Trish gets the good end of the stick on this one.

“Maybe so…you came back. I never did.” Adriana let her hand slide down his face. “Goodbye, Hawk.” And with that, she went behind her curtain.
Goodbye, as in, I’m going to be 3 feet away behind this cloth curtain while you deal with your baby momma. Just 3 feet. I’ll be here.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, walking up to her. “I never meant to run from you.” He tilted her face upward, noticing how much she was shaking.
Well, you pretty much…failed at that, didn’t you?

And now I am sleepy so I will stop, but maybe I'll go back to the beginning. I'm sure THAT is another sort of funny entirely...
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April 2015

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